Sunday, October 18, 2026 - Mary-Like Ministry
October 18, 2026
Deborah Laforet
“Mary-Like Ministry”
Let us pray. May the words from my lips and the meditations of my heart be guided by your
Spirit and be words of wisdom for this day. Amen.
It used to be that the Region or what used to be called Conference, our local network of
churches, would meet once a year, usually around the end of May. Now they meet twice. There is still
an in person meeting in the spring, but now there is also a virtual Zoom meeting in the fall. This
weekend, myself, and Jeff Laforet, who is your Regional representative, attended this meeting on
Thursday and Friday night. (By the way, if you’re interested, St. Paul’s can have a second
representative. The work is sometimes tedious but also can be fascinating.)
It also used to be that General Council, the national United Church body, would meet once every
three years, typically during the summer. Now, the in person meeting still happens in the summer every
three years, but also happens online in the fall the two years they don’t meet in person. This weekend,
on Saturday, was the General Council 45 Annual Meeting, which I attended as a Commissioner from
Horseshoe Falls Region.
Now, if you’re counting, that means I attended Zoom meetings on Thursday, Friday, and
Saturday, for a total of ten hours. Ten hours in front of my screen, on top of my regular duties this week.
Sometimes I really appreciate Zoom and being able to meet online, but it’s weeks like this when I wish it
hadn’t been invented.
It was a very full week, and although I was at meetings with lots of other folks, it was really just
me in front of my computer - not a great way to build relationships. Yes, sometimes virtual calls are
more efficient, I don’t have to travel, especially during inclement weather, and I can do chores or other
tasks in the background. I wonder though how much we lose when we meet solely, or even mostly,
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online. It definitely works better for groups that already have strong relationships, but not as well for
those who know little of each other or for those times when there is conflict or when very difficult
decisions need to be made.
Relationships shape us and we also shape our relationships, and not only do our friends affect us,
but our friends’ friends’ friends’ affect us. Eric Law, in his book, Holy Currencies, writes, “We have a
choice in choosing who is in your network and which network we are a part of. We also have a choice
to decide what to spread through our network.” (pg 19) If we spread lies, fear, and hate, then lies, fear,
and hate will be spread throughout our network. If we choose instead to spread trust, truth, and love,
then trust, truth, and love will be the affect on our networks.
For the next few weeks, we are working through Eric Law’s Holy Currencies, or what he also
names, Cycles of Blessings. Today, we are talking about relationships.
Law describes two kinds of relationship networks: Internal and External. Those a part of your
internal network are probably in your address book. You text them. You call them. You might get
together now and then. Maybe you go to the same church; maybe you work together; maybe you play
ball together or go to shows. Your external networks are those who you might brush up against or with
whom you might occasionally connect. It might be your mechanic, your doctor, the grocery store
attendant, families at the school your children attend. Sue and I are both reading through this book and
she has an exercise for you as we explore internal and external networks. (Sue leads exercise.)
Now, we are a small enough church that most of us form an internal network, except maybe for
those visiting us or haven’t been with us long. Those visiting us or those agencies that work with us
might be part of an external network. Law writes how important it is to balance these networks. We’re
going to try one more exercise, and for this I will nee 8 volunteers. Who is brave enough to come up
here without knowing what I’m going to have them do? Now, I need one more volunteer, who will
represent an outsider.
1. Have the eight create a body sculpture that depicts a tight-loving community.
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2. Invite the outsider to attempt to join this community.
3. Share reflections. “I noticed or I wonder.”
4. Invite eight to create a body sculpture depicts a community that focuses on reaching out to outsiders.
5. Invite the outsider to connect with this community. Then invite them to find a place inside the
community to rest and be nurtured.
6. Reflect. “I noticed or I wonder.”
7. Now create a third sculpture that depicts a community that values both internal and external
relationship.
8. Reflect. “I noticed or I wonder.”
We need internal relationships, just as we need to connect with our external relationships and
leave room for them to become a part of our internal relationships - not all of them, but leaving space for
those who want more.
Law writes about a second aspect of relationships that he describes as Martha-like or Mary-like
ministries. As I mentioned at the beginning of this reflection, in telling you my busy weekend,
sometimes our lives are so filled with what we do that we have little time to be, and it’s in being that we
connect best and build quality relationships. In our story of Mary and Martha, Martha is often depicted
as the one you don’t imitate. Martha is just so busy doing her work, that she then gets frustrated with
her sister for not helping, and then complains to Jesus. Mary is lifted up as the hero in this story, sitting
at the foot of Jesus, and Martha is shamed for thinking her work was more important.
We need both our Mary’s and our Martha’s, but the fact is that our culture tends to value our
Martha’s more. We value people who ‘do.’ Those who can’t do or those whose cultures value rest and
contemplation are called lazy and are seen as burdens on society - those with disabilities, the
unemployed, those with mental illnesses, indigenous peoples, and more. Most of us feel guilty going on
vacation, or for taking time off when we’re sick, or for sleeping late one morning, or for taking time to
practice a hobby. We are made to feel shame when our lives aren’t hectic and busy and we value those
who are always on the go, getting things done, and working hard.
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Because we live in such a Martha-like culture, our ministries tend to be very Martha-like. Eric
Law offers an example. “A feeding ministry that is task-driven might operate this way: We get all the
donated food, we get the volunteers to come and make the food, we put the food in bags, we line up the
people who come, we hand them the bag of food, then we clean up, and we are done.” Where in the
process are we building relationships? Where are we kneeling at the feet of those we serve and hearing
their stories. It’s not about choosing one kind of ministry or the other, a Mary-like ministry over a
Martha-like ministry. We need both, but if we want to build relationships with networks, and keep them
strong, we need to be more like Mary, taking the time to stop doing and to just be, kneeling at the feet or
at least sitting with people, and listening, exchanging stories, sharing joys and struggles, and coming to
understand one another.
And remember, last week, when we talked about that ‘flow’? Currency is about flow -
relationships flowing in and flowing out. They aren’t stagnant. A congregation is not thriving with the
same 20 members for decades. A community needs people who leave and people who come. It keeps a
community vibrant, with different ages, different customs, different ideas, Martha’s and Mary’s, and so
on. Our networks and relationships are going to constantly ebb and flow, with maybe a few rocks that
stick with us. It’s what keeps a ministry sustainable and missional, and this, after all, is our goal.
As people come and go, may we stop and listen; may we make time to share stories; may we
create space for people to feel valued, needed, and loved. May we uplift one another, support one
another as needed, and celebrate together. May our relationships keep us strong, present, and feeling
loved, and may we find relationship in God, Christ, and Spirit, and may God, Christ, and Spirit be a part
of our relationships. Amen.